Chapter Six:  Did God Invent Mosquitoes?

     Monday morning came, Nick and Natch dressed well, golf shirts (who the fuck plays golf anyway), nice slacks, a crease to shave with, shined shoes, close shaves and big smiles.  The sun was bright, glinting through the trees then bobbing and weaving around the tall buildings in the Big City as they drove into town.  They headed over to the west side, thinking, well, this is where those fucks are workin' our routes and this is where they are gonna' find out it ain't nice to fuck around with serious guys, especially two guys who will rip your fuckin' lungs out.

     The traffic was light, they were cruising the streets and up and down, slipping in and out of shadows, each lost to their own thoughts, thinking, well, where the fuck are those guys?  After a while they would find out where the fuck were those guys.

     Nick kept his eyes on the road, taking only quick looks at the storefronts and big buildings, looking for the salesmen.  He was thinking how lucky we are to be in this position and how they would make sure Joseph and the fairly important guys in the trash business would never regret giving them this big chance.  He took a quick look at Natch, his eyes glued to the streets, looking, Nick thinking he's tops, this buddy of mine, a solid citizen, no bullshit kinda' guy, a wrecking crew rolled up into one incredible fuckin' experience.

     "Hey, you believe in God?"  Natch wondered why that thought popped in his head.

     "Which one?"  Nick thinking, what, he's getting sappy?

     "What?  Whattaya' mean which one?"

     "Well, there's the Ghost guy, then you got Junior, the kid from Israel, that Spanish kid, Jesus, the  Old Man, the big guy, the beezer who began the whole thing."

     "From what I remember, they are all the same thing, the same one, three guys rolled into a God kinda' guy.  That's why, They, Him, are God."  Not so bad there Nick.

     Natch thought about it for a minute and it occurred to him, well, maybe there's something to this God stuff.

    " So, do you think God invented Mosquitoes?  Because if He-"

     "Mosquitoes?  What the fuck you talkin' about?"

     "What, I stutter?  Mosquitoes, pretty simple."  Natch looked up at the tall buildings.  "Let's say it summer and you got yourself a vodka on the rocks, you're sittin' with your main squeeze, she's wearing this fuck me bikini, the one made with fuckin' dental floss, and you got your free hand playin' with that Lotus Flower down there and WHAM!, a fuckin' mosquito, big enough to have fuckin license plates, bites the shit out of her.  She jumps up, freaked out and you're left standin' there holdin' your dick."  This shit happened to me, so I know what the fuck I'm talkin' about.

     "Maybe, Natch, that's why he invented the fuckin' things."  Nick thinking, wow, he's got some imagination.

     "Do me a favor, turn left at the corner, there's a good coffee spot on the next block, and WAIT--, looka' its them, the fuckin' pricks from the outfit the big green fuckin' trucks!"

     "Holy Christ!"

     Nick swerved left, cutting off a few cars coming in the opposite direction, parked the car the wrong way, and on the sidewalk, as he and Natch jumped out of the car.

     The two salesmen from those pricks with the big green trucks, both rookies in the business, both recent graduates from college, both with pretty strong brain power and both thinking, well, this trash things is a good thing and we are getting out foot in the door.  In front in them they saw the long road filled with big dreams. 

     They did not see the two man tornado which was about to explode into their lives.

     The first rookie, Gary, wearing his nice golf shirt with the emblem of the pricks with the big green trucks on his chest, spotted the two guys hustling down the street towards them.

     The second rookie, Scott, also wearing a golf shirt with the emblem of the pricks with the big green trucks on his chest, stopped short as he also noticed the two men heading their way, and Scott thought, wow, those two guys don't look too happy, I wonder where they are going?

     Where they were going was right there.

     "Hold up there, asshole!"  Nick spoke, throwing his voice across the twenty yards separating them.

     "What?  Asshole?"  Gary stopped walking, yanked a hold of Scott's shirt stopping him in his tracks, putting a little dent in the golf shirt with the emblem of the pricks with the big green trucks.  "Excuse me?"

     "Shut up."  Natch closed the distance quickly, then joined by Nick.

     "So, do we know you fellas?"  Scott was a bit nervous, wondering, I once heard stories about the trash business in this city, and maybe they weren't exactly stories.

     'I told you to shut up.  What the Hell you guys doin', walking around town, with those faggy shirts on, interfering with our business here?"

     "I thought this was a free country."  Gary thought it actually was.

     "Yeah, and I'm free to punch your fuckin' lights out.  Now listen to me you two.  Go back to the pricks with the big green fuckin' trucks and you tell them to get the Hell outta' fuckin' town before the shit hits the fan, you two being the fuckin' shit."  Nick smiled, not a ha ha smile, but a smile saying, you two geeks wanna' live beyond lunch hour?

     "Yeah, and don't let me catch you two pukes around town no more, and especially with them douche bag shirts on.  Hit the fuckin' road."  Natch poked Gary in the chest with his finger, Gary backing up.

     Nick and Natch watched the two guys from the pricks with the big green trucks turned and slowly walked away, rounding the corner.

     Both Scott and Gary got the message and they did hit the road.  They went back to the pricks with the big green trucks and said, what, this trash thing ain't exactly what we thought it was, so if you don't mind, we quit.

      By this time, Natch had tossed their business cards into the trash, he and Nick thinking, well, that's the end of that horseshit.

     Actually that wasn't the end of that horseshit, as the pricks with the big green trucks weren't exactly overjoyed when their two rookie salesmen both quit the same day.  Some body was going to ask a few questions.

Next week:  Chapter Seven:  Their Big Sale, and the Pricks With the Big, Green Trucks